Posted by: hellonhairylegs | January 17, 2008

Family.

This is my true teenager self letting go and bitching about my parents. Over the past two days there have been several incidents.

Incident One: Bras, or lack thereof

In which my dad starts prattling out of the blue why it is important for me to wear a bra.

Patriarch: Do you know why it is important that you wear a bra?

Deviant Spawn of Patriarch: So I don’t get saggy tits?

Patriarch: Yes.

Deviant Spawn: Well, clearly that is of earth-shattering importance.{/sarcasm}

Patriarch: Look, you do yourself tissue damage every time you don’t wear one.

Deviant Spawn: Already weirded out of this conversation and unable to take Patriarch telling her what to do with her body walks away.

Patriarch: Fine, be a dilettante

Incident Two: Confronting Racism and Classism

Context: Mom has just cooked us a lovely dinner. Mom also contributes her sizeable income to the family.

Mom: … had a homeschooled son…

Patriarch: Was there any ethnicity associated with this person?

Mom: No, and I didn’t ask about their religion.

Patriarch: So trailer trash?

Deviant Spawn: Dad, the first thing you reached for was racism and the second thing was classism. Can you just stop?

Patriarch: I’m sick and tired of being criticised in MY house by someone eating MY food.

Deviant Spawn: Passive aggressive sulkiness

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