Posted by: hellonhairylegs | May 11, 2008

Speak of the Devil: A Week in the Life

You’ve seen what my high school schedule looks like. Now take a look at my week. Everything written is true and has occurred this week. I have rearranged the first five days to preserve my anonymity.

On the first day Patriarchy sent drive-by honkers. It saw that HHL was reminded of her place in the sex caste and thought it good.

On the second day Patriarchy sent a group of boys to harass HHL while she played sport with her friends. It knows that supporting your team means yelling obscenities at the other.

On the third day Patriarchy did a good thing. The testimonial is below.

I sit and talk with acquaintances, former friends. I am informed that feminism is an evil institution that needs to be destroyed. Talking with people about the evils of feminism isn’t exactly my favourite pastime, especially when they are teenage boys who wouldn’t know privilege until it danced naked in front of them.

Less than thirty minutes after I had been informed about the evils of feminism a man walked by, his three year old son toddling beside him. “Show me yer tits!” he yells, utterly oblivious to my evil feminist aura. Instead of averting my gaze and taking the harassment, like any compliant maiden should, I turned and did some yelling of my own. “It isn’t fun being objectified every minute of every fucking day!” I scream, oblivious to the idyllic setting of the local park. “I’m fucking sick of assholes like you harassing me and you’re setting a disgraceful example to your son!” I had my somewhat fundelicious “what about the children?!” moment of the day (And yes, limited time + rage = copious swearing + limited vocabulary).  Anyway, the man informed me that his son had asked to see my mammary glands (in not quite those words) and the little boy nodded his cherubic face. He smiled at me, giggling. I’m used to dealing with adults, but having a three year old boy nod and giggle like that damn near broke my heart.

The encounter ended in the usual way; feminist snark on my part, the inevitable “bitch” and stalker threats on the father’s.

On the fourth day Patriarchy sent drive-by yellers, male and female. “Ugly dyke bitch” was thrown at HHL like an arrow. It did only superficial damage.

On the fifth day Patriarchy made HHL wait in suspense. She walked down several kilometres of busy road with nary a honk in evidence. Then Patriarchy sent its workmen and HHL railed against all the gods she knew (In order of importance: D&D, D&D Forgotten Realms, Norse, Ancient Egyptian, Greek, Roman and The Big Three) and cursed them for presenting her with such a cliché. Patriarchy saw that it had reminded HHL she was public property, and thought it good.

On the sixth day Patriarchy rested turned Its attention elsewhere.



  1. I can only conclude from this tale that the Patriarchy is the anti-Christ. Not because of the whole oppression thing (which is just, like, soooo 1960s) but because it rested on the sixth day, not the seventh. I’m trying to get the hang of reaching conclusions based on religious hearsay and pretending women aren’t human. I still can’t get my head around the anti-choice movement.

  2. Just found your blog today from Twisty

    You are a far more advanced patriachy blamer than myself.

    awesome sauce!

  3. Thanks for the compliments. I guess everyone has their own strengths when it comes to blaming.

    Welcome! 🙂 (the smiley weakness strikes again)

  4. …he yelled sexist crap at you and then blamed his THREE YEAR OLD SON? srsly?


    personally, I Blame The Assholes, of which that there would be a prime example. gah.

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