Posted by: hellonhairylegs | July 28, 2008

Are you an Arsehole?

May the cuteness stay your wrath
May the cuteness stay your wrath

I was reading one of those interchangeable magazines that teaches teenage girls how ugly they are when I came across a “Are you a Angel or a Devil?” quiz. Impressed by their subtle reworking of the Virgin/Whore split I immediately took the test. They had three possible outcomes, angel, in-between and devil. If you were an angel you were boring, if you were a devil you were a slut and if you were in-between they reserved judgment. I decided to create a test in a similar vein. Answer true or false for the following statements.

  1. You regard reproductive rights as a small issue.
  2. Your conservatism is directly proportional to your wealth.
  3. You use gay or retarded as a synonym for bad.
  4. You preface sentences with “I know this is racist/sexist/homophobic but-“

If you answered any of the above questions with a yes, then you are probably an arsehole. If you answered all of the above questions with a yes then you really are an arsehole. If you answered all the questions with a no then you still might be an arsehole.

What, did you expect me to give you a detailed assessment based on a few questions? You didn’t even tell me your star sign.

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Responses

  1. Actually, my conservativism is directly proportional to my wealth; I have neither. I’m liberal and I’m broke. It’s a meaningless correlation, but technically, I can answer #2 with a “yes.”

  2. Amy, I meant it as questioning someone whose political views change as their bank account does. For instance, my uncle was a liberal hippy when he was a penniless student, centrist as an associate professor and now is right-wing for a Republican and very wealthy. He is someone I would consider an asshole.

  3. Hmm, this test could come in handy. Thanks!

  4. *cackles madly*
    I think conservatism also correlates with age for many people – the older they get the more afraid of change and the more cynical about their power to change the world these people get.
    And then you get the mad, rad Elders (or edging that way, anywho) types who prove it’s not necessarily the only outcome as we age.

    Myself, I suspect I may turn out like Germaine Greer. Which is a mixed bag, really.


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