Posted by: hellonhairylegs | October 23, 2008

It Was Like A Horror Film

That day when I almost agreed with a Miranda Devine editorial. It was a dark dark time. Thankfully, before I reached the end, she said something stereotypical about gender roles and I was able to pull out of the cycle of despair. Anyway, today is not that day. Today she wrote an op-ed about Madonna titled Material Girl with a Gammy Knee. Yu-huh.

For one thing, if the scurrilous gossip emanating from the Ritchie camp is to be believed, Madonna used to slather herself nightly with $1000 face creams and wear an anti-ageing plastic body suit to bed, which does not sound like a recipe for “business time”.

Yes, as a wife, it was Madonna’s responsibility to be sexually available for her husband. *headdesk*

It is true she looks more polished and toned than she did in her 20s. Plucking her eyebrows helped, and her supreme fitness is a beacon of inspiration for the gen Xers who follow in her footsteps, although her gammy knee – evident in visible support bandages under her fishnet stockings in recent photos – does give pause to reflect on the perils of excessive gym work.

So do the ghastly close-ups of her overly muscled arms that periodically appear in the gossip magazines – showing a chiselled anatomical structure that is best kept under wraps on a woman’s body. Still, she is living proof that even the plainest girls can wind up looking “hot”, with effort. As Helena Rubenstein famously said: “There are no ugly women, only lazy ones.”

‘Cause you know women who look strong (*gasp*) are just sooo unfeminine.

By contrast, the gentle ravages of age have only softened the faces of such beauties as 60-year-old Olivia Newton-John, 66-year-old Robyn Nevin, 62-year-old Joanna Lumley and 63-year-old Helen Mirren. They may have resorted to a few anti-ageing tricks, and by 30, few women don’t succumb to at least a good face cream. But the visible wrinkles and gentle sags of their faces show they have come to terms with the natural limitations of human existence.

Wow, setting up the Good/ Bad Woman split. How original and innovative.

The entire article is scattered with age references, evidence of our youth obsessed culture. Yes, WOMEN GROW OLDER. We don’t gracefully commit suicide when we are no longer deemed fuckable.

At least now I have an excuse to use the new poll function.

(Fuck Politeness also has a post up about one Devine’s op-eds.)



  1. Je-SUS! Several of those women she named as having the ‘decency’ to accept their ageing and being ‘all the more beautiful’ for their ‘natural femininity’ have had facelifts (I want to be clear I’m not being anti-surgery here, just pointing out that even when she’s being full of shit she’s even more full of shit about her own shit)…so it’s Miranda’s desire that women be good women by using surgery to alter our bodies and faces to be more feminine rather than *actually* having some devotion to the notion of ageing “gracefully”.

  2. Devine logic: When women criticise Sarah Palin for her anti-woman policies, we’re betraying the sisterhood. But ripping into a woman when she doesn’t live up to Miranda’s beauty standards– 100% okay!

  3. Hehe Beppie, it reads like a Mastercard ad: for real logic there are other writers, for everything else there is Devinecard!

  4. This is what passes for journalism in this country. She gets paid to write this crap.
    Also, what is the definition of a “good” face cream? Does she not realise that there is no such thing as a reversal of the ageing process?
    Fucking fuck.

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