Posted by: hellonhairylegs | November 15, 2008

Caution: HHL Reading

I am not satisfied with the running of eyes across lines. For a real reading experience I must flail about, run around in the important parts and say random things in crowded places. When watching television the same rules apply. Here are the last few outbursts.

“Or you could have sex without drugs, like two consenting adults. Amiright?”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

“Men suck.”

“The sex-positive feminists so did not win! Just because their message was co-opted by the mainstream doesn’t mean they won.”

“And fuck you too, anti-feminist author dude.”

“Rapists. Should. Not. Be. Love. Interests.” *thwack of book hitting wall*

“Hatshepsut was teh awesome.”

“STFU.”

“What a dick.”

“Bleh.”

“Great. You just killed off the only decent character.”

“You go girl! uh- woman.”

“Feminism: Ur doing it rong!”

“Boo YAH!”

“Quit it with the sexual tension already.”

“My heart bleeds. /sarcasm”

“It’s supposed to be foreshadowing, not foreblackening.”

And then there are the strange sounds I make that cannot be rendered into a textual form. My favourite is the scoff.

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Responses

  1. Foreblackening lol. My usual response is the gurgle/gasp, followed by some form of blasphemy.

  2. LOL

    great post, lively as ever

  3. “Oh, for fuck’s sake!” is one of my classics.

  4. I hate that they so often turn the love interest of lead female characters into rapists and/or bordering rapists. I would totally ditch someone who didn’t listen when I, or anyone else, said no.

  5. Awesome sum-up. According to my SO my patented reading-sound is, when I’m indulging in my angry-making-but-guilty-pleasure of trashy romances, the “Edna Krabapel snort”.

  6. It would be funny to film us reading and make that into a video essay of responses to patriarchal crap and/or bad writing.

  7. Most male/nonfeminist authors’ attempts at sexual tension really bug me. I get that, since I’m autistic, my emotional responses will differ from most people’s in a lot of situations, but I still don’t think I’m unusual in being annoyed when the hero and heroine go from hating each other to jumping into bed together.

    I like to see romances written as arising from deep friendship, or mutual respect or admiration, or any context that acknowledges the hero and heroine as whole people, rather than having the hero formulaically overcome the heroine’s resistance and the heroine magically turn into a doormat once he does that.

    Very annoying.


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