Posted by: hellonhairylegs | January 3, 2009

Domestic Violence, Racism and Patriarchy

What Heart Said.

Sylvia Orza Pardo was Mexican, a woman of color.  Maybe she was even an “illegal,” the malevolent thinking goes.  She was probably a gold digger who married Bruce Pardo for his money and was taking him for all she could get.  Why, she should have been grateful that someone like Pardo  — such a paragon of white, male, heterosupremacist, middle class virtue — married her in the first place.  That’s sure what Bruce Pardo was counting on, as abusers always will, that his, in  his own mind, magnanimity and generosity in marrying Sylvia Orza would make her easy prey, easy to hurt, easy to use and abuse without anyone suspecting or criticizing him for it.  And he was right. In his death, he is still enjoying white middle class male immunity, that particular immunity from criticism and harsh judgment that is the province of men like him, that shields them from accountability for rape, murder, battering, domestic violence and every form of abuse.

The impunity with which white, middle class or rich heterosexual men may batter, abuse and kill their female partners and others is central to the perpetuation of white male heterosupremacy.  It isn’t a fluke that people are excusing Pardo or justifying what he did or blaming his ex-wife for it.   It isn’t some anomaly.  This is, in fact, what white male privilege IS.  This is white male heterosupremacist privilege on  parade.  This is what it MEANS.   No group of men on earth is so immune from the consequences of femicide and abuse as this group of men is, and the privilege they enjoy expresses itself and works itself out every single day, not just in horrific events like these murders, but in a million ways, small and large, in the interactions between white men and white women, white men and men and women of color,  white men and children, white men and animals, interactions which,  in the end, are, again, the heart and soul of white male heterosupremacy.

Remember those “It’s so strange and Christmas themed that someone murdered people in a Santa suit” articles? Yeah.

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Responses

  1. So many of these murders involve battering or controlling men killing ex-wives and children, but you wouldn’t know it from the way they’re reported. It’s always that the man “snaps” and goes on a completely random killing spree.

    It’s only on feminist blogs that I ever see the background information that makes these killings not random at all. You’d think if there were really an interest in saving women’s and children’s lives, that they’d publicize that kind of information and train police to be on the lookout for men like this.

  2. Shorter Troll: OMG! You hurt my feelings. You are saying the white heterosexual men are priviledged, which somehow translates into evil in troll speak. Look at all the other countries that do crap stuff to women! At least we don’t stone you for being a lesbian.

    The impunity with which white, middle class or rich heterosexual men may batter, abuse and kill their female partners and others is central to the perpetuation of white male heterosupremacy.

    Is it really? white, middle class, rich and heterosexual looks like you’ve covered all the evil people of this world in one paragraph.

    In your imaginary world people of color in this country would never think of abusing their female partners-you might want to look at the police records in your area.

    ” This is white male heterosupremacist privilege on parade. This is what it MEANS. No group of men on earth is so immune from the consequences of femicide and abuse as this group of men is.”

    Do you have any proof of this? Or would you rather forget the lands of rape and torture in Africa: Darfur, the Congo, Chad, Niger and others. Why not travel to India where the Untouchables are hated by the rest of populations and where if any girl steps out of line, a beating, acid bath or murder is the order of the day! And, in many Middle Eastern countries, both males and sometimes females are rarely prosecuted for murdering their female children if they fail to submit to their parents wishes.

    I tell you what people like you should do: go to Syria or Saudi Arabia and organize a Gay/Lesbian parade-let us know how you like Islamic Patriarchy!

    By the way-Pardo was hardly middle class (a 500,000 dollar home)!

  3. Awww…. look at the troll. It’s so cute! It even mentioned the Middle East. Lolz, his own condemnation of the Others as an excuse for the actions of his class is in itself some proof of what Heart is saying.

    Henry, read what Heart actually said, then come back and we continue this conversation, mkay?

  4. No group of men on earth is so immune from the “consequences of femicide and abuse as this group of men is, and the privilege they enjoy expresses itself and works itself out every single day, not just in horrific events like these murders, but in a million ways, small and large, in the interactions between white men and white women, white men and men and women of color, white men and children, white men and animals, interactions which, in the end, are, again, the heart and soul of white male heterosupremacy.”

    The above statement says it all. It’s a semi-political rant reminiscent of a nazi rally. Welcome to the world of Group Guilt-it worked for Hitler and Stalin so why not for you!

    So you want to fight Patriarchy? then go to its source! Of course its much easier to sit in your privileged Western society and complain about your own self loathing.

    Once again give me some proof that pardo killled because he was white, upper-middle class, privileged and heterosexual. Oh wait-he may have been a closet homosexual and his wife found out!

  5. Henry, you are a sad specimen.
    Pardo killed because he is a man, and men are trained from birth to believe that they are entitled to kill, in fact encouraged to do so.
    He expected to get away with it because in this society it is the white male who is conditioned to believe that he is entitled to get away with it.

    Henry sez, “In your imaginary world people of color in this country would never think of abusing their female partners-you might want to look at the police records in your area.”

    Are you being intentionally obtuse, Henry, or do you have entitlement issues along with your reading comprehension issues?

    Hellon, I apologize for providing the trollhouse cookies.

  6. Pardo killed because he is a man, and men are trained from birth to believe that they are entitled to kill, in fact encouraged to do so.

    No kidding-where do you get such bizzare information? I suppose that’s the same training women get when they (choose) to abort their pregnancy. Do black men get the same kind of training? or is it OJT, or does it come naturally?

    He expected to get away with it because in this society it is the white male who is conditioned to believe that he is entitled to get away with it.

    That sounds like a pyschological explanation (though a poor one). Remember the Florida high school girl who shot her classmate last year? It turns out the victim spurned her lesbian advances. Using your analogy I believe that a spurned lesbian may became an enraged killer.

  7. They never stop bringing the stupid, do they.

  8. Answer the question….Are women who destroy their unborn children also trained to do this? Does a woman of color who abuses her child trained to do this? Or is it more convenient to blame white patriarchy for your delusions?

    Seriously, where do some of you learn these things?

    Since Ms. Hairylegs has such a good grasp on the Pardo case would she mind explaining why 2 black males kidnapped and brutally murdered a white college student! Was that because they were gang-bangers, lower middle class, heterosexual rappers, drug using low lifes?? Oh, I forgot -she was just a privileged white girl!

  9. They were men, Henry, just like you.
    Most perps are men, Henry, just like you.
    Most perps are white men, Henry, just like you.

    You are responsible for your own ignorance, Henry.
    You are responsible for your own education, Henry.
    Google is your friend.

  10. Still can’t answer the questions can you? All I get is a poorly written poem. It;s to bad your filled with so much anger. It ate at Pardo so don’t let it eat you as well.

  11. The problem, Henry, is that we are having a conversation, or we were, and you have attempted to change the subject in every one of your comments.
    That is what makes you a troll.

    That was not a poem, Henry.
    It was a list of facts.
    If you are ever willing to remedy your ignorance you will be able to find answers to your own questions, just like the grown ups do.

  12. And another thing.
    I appear to have a BINGO. Would someone be kind enough to count my card.

  13. A conversion would be fine but a list of charges (white, heterosexual, middle class, trained from birth, patriarchal) do not a conversation make.

    But I do have a potential job for the feminists here who would truly like to experience a religious patriarchy/matriarchy first hand.
    A recent Washington Post article noted that there have been an increasing number of genital circumcisions of little girls in the Kurdish area of Iraq. Mother’s willingly take their daughters to an adult woman who performs the proceedure. Men have little to do with the planning of this and the mothers claim that their religion condones it.

    This would be a great job for someone who would like to experience a religious patriarchy and abuse first hand. I would suggest, however, that you wear appropriate clothing and carry a weapon with you at all times.

  14. They were men, Henry, just like you.
    Most perps are men, Henry, just like you.
    Most perps are white men, Henry, just like you.

    How is this a conversation? do you have any statistical proof to back up your claims. Why don’t you collect some hard facts instead of claims based on emotion.

    Sorry Henry, your time is UP. You have convincingly proved to my satisfaction that you are a douche. Go away before you break something (also, can you actually read what Heart said FFS?!)

  15. Do your own research, Henry. Google is your friend.

    Also that gives me a double BINGO!!

  16. antifeministbingo2 by Lauredhel

  17. OK, hellon, I’m sorry. I’ll STFU now. I really am a sucker for troll bingo.

  18. It’s ok. It was a heroic effort. Congratulations on the Double bingo.

  19. thebewilderness: “Pardo killed because he is a man, and men are trained from birth to believe that they are entitled to kill, in fact encouraged to do so. He expected to get away with it because in this society it is the white male who is conditioned to believe that he is entitled to get away with it.”

    I see it more as that (straight) men are trained from birth to believe they are entitled to control & power, and that the women and children in their lives are somehow just extensions of themselves, only valued in so far as they are useful and obedient to him. Not all men take on this conditioning of course, and not all to the same extent, but none of us (women & men) escape the conditioning, that’s how so many people can try to “understand” Pardo – it takes such a lot of mental resistance and re-framing to question it. Violence or other kinds of punishment and coercion are this kind of man’s reaction when there is a challenge to his delusion that everything revolves around him – when his partner leaves or when she tries to live her own life for example. Killing is just the most extreme and most sure method of reasserting that control, that sense of mastery. If Syvia Pardo had come back to her ex-husband, was suitably obedient, or perhaps acquiesced to everything he might have demanded over the divorce, there would have been (in his eyes) no “need” to kill anyone.

    (Excuses are also made of course when men kill or batter gay men and trans women – the so-called “gay/trans panic” defence. It’s meant to seem an utterly reasonable and understandable reaction, and again unfortunately it is often accepted and validated. Again it’s about violence as a “reasonable” response to eradicate people whose very existence “threatens” their sense of supremacist masculinity).

    Henry, (if you’re still listening) of course there are authoritarian patriarchal cultures in the non-Western countries that you cite which produce terrible abuses against women.

    This post, and the one it quotes, is dealing with an example of a hugely common abuse perpetrated against women and children by men RIGHT THERE in the USA, that paragon of western freedom, justice and democracy. A white, heterosexual, well-off man perpetrated this multiple killing and he is not an anomaly. (The point of the post by Heart that is quoted is not that it is only white, straight, men that commit domestic violence, it’s that they are the ones that the media and public commonly make excuses for).

    Bruce Pardo’s killings only received a lot of news coverage because of the sheer number of deaths he caused, and the fact that he dressed up as Santa. I live in the UK, and reports of men murdering their partners or ex-partners are depressingly commonplace. I’m sure its the same in the US and Australia and other western democracies. It’s usually only a paragraph in the news each time, it’s background noise. Same with the cases where a man kills his children and himself. Usually only the suicide is highlighted, the fact that he murdered his kids is kind of glossed over, and the reporting is typically skewed to “what made him do this” “he was an ordinary guy” “no one expected it” “this is so inexplicable and sad” etc. NOTHING in the reporting or public discourse about these kinds of killings encourages us to join the dots, to see the pattern – that something in our culture is deeply fucked because it produces this significant number of men who believe it is their role to dominate their intimate and family relationships (maybe seemingly benignly) and who react with (often unexpected) violence when this self-belief is challenged. The partner cannot be allowed to live without him. The children are extensions of himself and shouldn’t survive him – or killing them serves effectively to hurt the surviving partner (for whatever he believes she needs punishing for). Patriarchy has never seemed a more perfectly accurate way to describe this.


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